Follow your...

I recently found myself in conversation about this blog and the direction it was being taken in. Initially I set it up on the back of my 2012 New Years Resolutions (probably best forgotten about, given I can't for the life of me remember what they were, and I don't intend on shaming myself!) but it kind of progressed as an online diary of sorts which wasn't the objective. Infact, the objective was pretty much undecided and it just developed naturally, but I did find myself under the criticism that although some of my posts really challenged people and gave them food for thought - my latter ones, much less so. With that in mind and on the back of recent events, I figured I'd write something a little more 'challenging', at least I'd hope so.

For anyone that hasn't come across LinkedIn's influencer posts; they're generally written by successful, established businessmen and women, including the likes of Richard Branson, James Caan and anyone from the realms of recruitment, entrepreneurism (I don't think that's a word but bear with me) and secure, global businesses. There's a wealth of material to read, no matter your interests. I highly recommend checking it out, and when you read something you can really relate to - follow the influencer. No doubt they'll have a lot more to say on topics later on.

As for this blog, I wanted to address a couple of issues I've come across recently, be it within my social circle, career or whatever else. Hopefully you'll take something from it!


Honesty is the best policy; always has been, always will be

All too often I see people trying to dig themselves out of holes they shouldn't be anywhere near in the first place. Society has drawn itself into the terrible habit of not considering other people's reactions or feelings and thus the consequences behind their actions.. worse still, there are some that completely appreciate all of the above, yet don't care. I'm pretty sure most women would agree this is a fatal flaw predominantly linked to men; although I certainly wouldn't say they're not capable of it too.

I previously mentioned How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carniege, and re-visited it on my week off last week. One of the earliest chapters is so relevant to this topic. Readers are challenged to consider how they treat others, from how they speak directly to people and also about people. When someone does something differently to how we would do it, or perhaps 'wrong', we're very quick to judge and criticise when in reality; it would be far more effective to find positives in what they have done, and how they can improve going forward. I still catch myself being overly critical and counter-productive on occasion but if it's a method you adopt with a honest and genuine approach - both you and the other party will feel much better in both the short and long term. This is particularly relevant in a working environment, so naturally, let's look at the personal side.

Friendships and relationships are built on the foundation of trust. Ironically, it's incredibly similar to recruitment in terms of being so difficult to establish initially, yet incredibly easy to lose in the blink of an eye. It only takes so many niggling, harmless lies to accumulate the point in which someone can come to completely distrust you; feeling let down, offended and disappointed. People make mistakes, often on a daily basis - but the best means of remedying them is to have accountability for your actions, accepting you've done wrong and making an apology for it. Sweeping things under the carpet or hiding them in a catalogue of lies will never achieve a positive resolution. Taking responsibility is the harder option of the two, but ultimately the most rewarding.

You don't always need a reason to do something

Recently I made the point that doing the right thing doesn't require thinking about. You do it, because it's the right thing to do. Instinct is a powerful tool and often the driving force behind more of our positive actions than negative. In emergency situations, no matter who's involved, I imagine most people will do what they think is best at a risk to their own safety for the benefit of another individual. I was directed to a group on Facebook called The Motivational and it wasn't long before I began to appreciate the content. They released a video in which apparent strangers threw themselves onto train tracks to save people that seemingly had no idea where they were, run under escalators to catch falling toddlers and demonstrate exceptionally quick reactions to save dogs from rising elevators.

Sometimes there quite simply isn't time to digest, analyse and dissect a situation - simply doing the right thing doesn't require thinking about, nor should it. Similarly, you don't always need a reason or an ulterior motive to text / ring someone. Saying hi for the sake of it can pick up people when they're down, because it's nice to know that someone somewhere, is thinking of you. Being a little spontaneous and a little bit thoughtful 'just because' can really make a difference. Try it.

Learn something new every day

This is something I definitely didn't appreciate not so long ago. Like many others, I always thought the monotony of school, scripted lessons and the act of being 'taught' was a part of my life I couldn't wait to get away from. I had that phase of long, boring days at work, wishing I was sat back in a classroom with my mates - certainly something you don't have the pleasure of every day when you're working, but then started to reflect on what it actually meant to be working.

Essentially, every day that you don't learn something is a day wasted. Everyone at the very top of their profession who may seem to have nothing left to prove, nothing left to achieve, would probably tell you that there's never one little thing they don't do differently on a day by day basis. Success is marginal. The difference between the great and exceptional is the finest of adjustments - being out of bed before the alarm rings, not having that 'cheeky pint', the sort of differences that the large majority of people will never appreciate, and the precise reason why they will never be the very best in their field.

Learning should be enlightening, ambitious and proactive. You don't have to learn something truly significant every day, but every day learning a little might just make enough of a difference across your lifetime.

Express yourself

Being open and unguarded without a sense of rationality is foolish. Being too open is often condemned. Yet being emotionally shut off is detrimental and destructive, not only to yourself but also those around you, and those closest. We're often guilty of assuming that we'll be approached about the frown we're sporting and expect everyone to know what's going on - after all, we've probably been moaning about it for a little while. In reality, it's easier for everyone to avoid confrontation and probe into the reasons we're not quite feeling ourselves; for them to uncover our issues could be a recipe for disaster, especially when they're not aware just how far the rabbit hole goes.

I'm pretty sure everyone has some form of outlet, be it a best friend, a partner, a parent, mentor or diary. It's not a sign of weakness to have some kind of dependant. In reality, there's probably someone else, if not the same person, that depends on you to pick them up during the difficult times. In relationships particularly, if trust is a foundation - what is a relationship in which you can't be open with your partner? One to be reconsidered perhaps... 


Follow your head? Or your heart...

I found this to be a really interesting concept and given it some thought. Initially, I always thought I was firm believer in following your heart, given that to succeed at anything requires passion, dedication and perseverance. Without heart, you'll never find the drive to keep pushing yourself for the sake of something you believe in.

To spin this theory on it's head however - would you carry on doing the same thing day in, day out, if it meant you were struggling to live the life you wanted? Ultimately, logic plays a huge part in how you conduct yourself and progress in terms of a career. There's no point in ignoring logic for the principle of always being 'true' to yourself, because you'll forever hinder your progression without being able to exert yourself in your chosen field.

That said, perhaps there's an argument for putting logic to one side when it comes to relationships. It's often claimed that you can never choose how you feel, or who you feel it for. In this instance, letting go of something that means you might not make the most logical decision could be almost unfaithful to yourself.

In closing, the logic / emotion conundrum is difficult to judge. Those that are emotionally driven may miss spotting opportunities for progression and a smoother ride to success, yet those that rely too heavily on logic risk fulfilling their full potential for happiness. Consider how balanced you are, and maybe take a moment to sway the other way.

Hope you enjoyed..