I'm sure anyone that's read this blog (including a tweet favourited by @Daleroxxu, a PokerStars online Pro) or anyone that knows me personally recognises that I've put a lot of hours into poker both live and online. My experience ranges from playing in pubs at 18 for £5 with guys all new to the game; fresh fish in a pretty big pond to £50 tournaments at Nottingham's infamous Dusk Til Dawn cardroom; undoubtedly the biggest and best in the UK; not to mention visiting some of the biggest venues in Las Vegas from small scale hotels to the homes of the high rollers in the Bellagio, Venetian, Aria and everything between. In terms of cash poker I've spent many a night in friend's back rooms playing 5p/10p with tins of Fosters, £1/1 in the Fox on Shaftesbury Avenue (likely my preferred venue) and £1/2 in The Empire Casino in the heart of Leicester Square.
It's pretty safe to say that poker, paintball and partying have been the three biggest aspects of my life in the past 18 months; ironically, about the same time that I split with my last missus. Funny how you find the time for things without a woman to nag you all the time ;) (and just in case she's reading this, for anyone that hasn't met her, she's actually borderline amazing; just some things happen at the wrong time.. my bad!)
So what's this blog about, really?
I saw a tweet about a friend learning to play poker for pennies, ironically, not so different to how I first started playing the game (although I think it was for pounds.. how naive of me) and in jest, suggested that it's probably a bad idea to start. I'm actually at the very beginning (as in, I'm a whole day in) of a 10 week poker 'hiatus'. It's predominately down to varying internal / external factors, but as is the nature of poker, I very much consider myself to be on what's known as a 'downswing'. The nature of the game is such that sometimes even when you're playing well; there's nothing you can do about the cards that fall. I've been thinking about taking a break for a few weeks given my lacklustre performance last season at the Nag's Head in Welling. If anyone wants to play recreational poker on a Tuesday night for a mere £5, I recommend it. Once you settle in after a couple of weeks and everyone realises that you're not a melodramatic, egotistical arsehole (in my case, I've been accepted as such; so you've got a pretty high tolerance threshold when I'm in there), it's a great atmosphere with a mix of playing styles, abilities, ages and sometimes genders; although it is (as is the nature of the game) always going to be a predominantly male environment. However, my decision was confirmed after a ridiculously bad night at The Empire.
I had last Saturday off work and nothing planned for Friday night (very unlike me), so thanks to Nathan's generosity and faith in my game, I headed up to meet him in Central London for what would eventually turn out to be an 8 hour session, having planned for only half of that. The night started pretty 'meh' on all accounts and I'd topped up after an hour or so of being in there, switched on my game and started picking spots with a solid read on most of my opponents on the table. Coming up for about 1.30am I'd spun up something like a £450 profit and was contemplating cashing out, naturally sitting in for another round or two to avoid the indecency of taking a huge percentage of someone's stack and then leaving the table; effectively devoiding them the opportunity of winning anything back and reducing the amount of cash on the table. This will be the only hand I explain on this blog (I'd hope) to demonstrate the variance in poker and the brutal reality of the game sometimes. If anyone that plays far more than I do wants to comment on the hand; please do (@freddie_baxter on Twitter).
I'm on the button with 99 (suits are irrelevant), with 3-4 limpers before me so there's ~£12 in the pot. I raise pre-flop to £21 (generally acceptable in the Empire given that a lot of the players on a Friday night have been out for work drinks and are looking to throw lots of money your way.. that and I'm £450 up). The big blind (BB) is the only caller as the rest of the table folds round.
The flop is an absolute dream; 3 9 J rainbow.
I've just flopped the second nuts with the only hand beating me being JJ, very unlikely that the BB doesn't 3-bet this pre, even out of position (OOP) against my button range. Being the tender age of 23 I'm considered to be 'one of those internet kids', so we have a pretty loose, aggressive reputation. So be it.
The BB check / calls my bet of £38; he doesn't have much in this spot other than JX, 33 or QT. I bet big to price his draws and extract max value from a very solid holding; against JX (his most likely), I'm a huge 96% favourite to win the hand. That's just about as good as it gets.
The turn is a pretty bad card if I consider QT a part of his range.. Kd, also bringing a diamond flush draw. Again, the BB check / calls my bet of £84. I think if he's just turned the straight, two pair or any hand that beats an overpair / AK, he's raising here for value considering he's out of position on the river. I actually improve; I'm 100% against any Jx that's not J9, J3 or JK; and I'm a 96% favourite against any of those hands.
The river falls another K. The BB checks to me again and I fire a value bet of £180; the one thing he does is what I'm not expecting. He attempts to shove his entire stack in, but manages to mess up and the dealer calls it a min-raise. I've still got more behind, but suddenly his call / call / shove line makes no sense, except for one hand. I call off the extra £180 and I see the one hand I really don't want to see; KJ.
The guy goes from a mere 10% chance of winning, down to 4%, to 100%. That is the nature of poker, and left a steaming £503 hole in my stack. So much for that four hour profit.
Ironically, just as I wrote this part, Nathan text me the following;
"You'll like this one. I've got AA utg in a straddle. I make it 27, one caller (massive fish, bad player) from the SB, flop Q72, he checks, I bet 35, he raises to 70, I raise to 160, he shoves for 750, I snap. He has JJ. He hits runner runner quads. 1.5k pot... :/"
Horrible game; isn't it?
Most poker players will always stress over their bad runs as opposed to their positive ones. I blogged before about the Nottingham trip in which I was over £1k in profit from the Friday night; so obviously the potential highs speak for themselves.
So, back to that tweet..
On my original point; I advised the world of twitter not to get involved in poker which is actually a really negative outlook. The game can be brutal, but it can also be beautiful. I won't enter the debate about gambling / skill / luck as convincing anyone from outside the poker spectrum will either fail to understand, or choose not to. I don't participate in sports betting and I'm generally pretty effective at avoiding the lure of roulette wheels and blackjack tables.
Poker however is very much a thinking man (or woman)'s game; there's so many levels upon levels which new players can't even begin to appreciate until they experience the game in depth. I still consider myself very much an amateur as a break-even player over the past few years; although I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had, nor the people I've met through poker for anything. Besides that, I'm sure there will come a time I'll pull off a miraculous tournament win to put a deposit on a flat at least. It's all in the grand plan.
On a more serious note; poker is a fantastic hobby if you can exercise the powers of self-control and set yourself limits. On a social level, having anything between 4-10 people around a table with a few drinks and just a few quid between friends is the recipe for a fun and fantastic night. On a professional level? You get the benefits of avoiding tax and choosing the hours you want to work; but I'd suggest working up a huge sample before you even think about that option.
I've now got ten weeks to fill with doing awesome stuff that doesn't involve cards; suggestions welcome!
Friday, 25 May 2012
Friday, 18 May 2012
Waffle.
Ever had that feeling in which you just need to write down and reflect, with no specific intention, motive nor reason?
I've just discovered one of those moments and it's precisely why the title reads as it does; waffle. I have no idea what I want to talk about, I can't think of any insightful advice or passionate opinion, so I'll just write, and I guess that means you're invited to read!
You know, I really hate that question you're always asked when you see someone that you don't see that often.. "So, what have you been upto?".. There's only one question that tops it; "Still in Burton?" - the answer's still yes. Except I work for Dorothy Perkins too. Funnily enough, that's almost the answer to the initial question. "Work, paintball, poker, driving pissheads (we'll call them friends from this point on) home"... and undoubtedly I've gone no more than a 3-week stretch with at least one visit to Pure.
The worst thing is? I always find myself asking that question too! It's such a mundane yet easy opener for someone you know, to the point I almost find it easier talking to strangers. Little bit backwards but hey ho!
Regardless, what *have* I done for the past month?
Giving up smoking. Literally harder than ever.. I did it a few years ago when I was in a relationship with a non-smoker; not for her as she never asked; but it just didn't sit right with me. Giving up was easy then, almost too easy. Either that or life was far less stressful and consuming in comparison to how it is now.
I took the option not to make a big deal about my giving up as I did on New Years because in a realistic sense, I'm well aware there's a very significant failure rate as far as I'm concerned. Breaking any sort of habit is incredibly difficult and I allow myself too many bad influences (you know who you are) around me which makes it even more challenging. Don't get me wrong, I've smoked more than I've intended, predominately on nights out; but I've probably smoked say ~40 cigs in the past month, equivalent to just over two per day. Considering I'd easily do anywhere between 8-20 a day (depending what day it was), I see it as a huge achievement and I'm not ashamed to say I'm quite proud of myself for it.
Alongside this, I've been running far more frequently. If you've seen the pale legs sticking out from the generic black running outfit in Hall Place of an evening; I apologise for any offence my whiter-than-white pins may have caused. To the girl that whistled once.. Hi ;).
Enough of that. On a more negative note, I haven't been tracking my runs and therefore not keeping a record of my distance / times and how I've improved. This is a mistake, in honesty, and I intend to rectify it by the end of the month. I've also convinced my old dear to come running at least one night a week, so for any of you with a liking toward 60something married women of two.. Please remove yourselves from my Facebook. Thanks.
Drinking! This one I find a lot easier than smoking; I've had hardly anything that even constitutes 'a drink' in the past month and it's almost to the point I have no recollection of what hangovers feel like. Bet you're all jealous. Rich has sort of joined me on this one too; he already had one up with the no-smoking considering he never started but I think he felt he was slacking. That and he does plenty of MMA. Drunk fighters don't win much.
Paintball and poker being two things close to my heart (there are things closer, don't worry), I seem to have got them confused.
At the end of last season, I said I'd be giving up paintball for at least a year (think i explained this in an earlier blog).. Yet in the past month I've played the whole of one event and a few games of the one just gone after agreeing to coach for my team.
The first event went really well; it's the first time we chose to completely ignore the scoreboards given we have a few new players in the squad; just try to integrate them, have fun and enjoy the sport. Turns out, it came down to the last game for a podium finish. Pleased to say I pulled off one of my finer performances (I can only think of two specific games I'd played better in previous) to overturn a 3-on-1 situation and make sure we placed third. It was nice coming back to a 'one off' and coming back with a trophy.
The event weekend just gone wasn't quite as smooth however.. Stormed the first game, lost the next three and then went on to steady the ship. Couldn't turn it round though and missed out on third by something like 40 points; shame, but not the end of the world.
Poker on the other hand, I haven't been playing nearly as much as I was at the back end of last year and earlier this year. Since Nottingham I've been on what I can only describe as a downswing. I set aside Bank Holiday weekend for a £40 charity event which saw my departure in pretty shocking fashion. With 77 on 7c4c2d I got it in against TT.. The board ran out another two clubs for his flush at odds of 26-1.. Lovely! Think I lumped something like £30-40 at a worthwhile charity though (LittleBuds) so it was a pretty productive day. Nice to see a relatively large poker 'community' turn out too and bodes well for future events.
I've written this whole thing on my phone and haven't read back over it, so I'm expecting plenty of spelling errors (iPhones are handy like that) and wrong words in the wrong places.
So yeh; don't think I did much other than talk complete waffle? Said I would, so if you're still reading, thanks, and I hope you enjoyed it all the same.
I'll be sure to come up with something inspiring and generally awesome next time. Until then.. :)
I've just discovered one of those moments and it's precisely why the title reads as it does; waffle. I have no idea what I want to talk about, I can't think of any insightful advice or passionate opinion, so I'll just write, and I guess that means you're invited to read!
You know, I really hate that question you're always asked when you see someone that you don't see that often.. "So, what have you been upto?".. There's only one question that tops it; "Still in Burton?" - the answer's still yes. Except I work for Dorothy Perkins too. Funnily enough, that's almost the answer to the initial question. "Work, paintball, poker, driving pissheads (we'll call them friends from this point on) home"... and undoubtedly I've gone no more than a 3-week stretch with at least one visit to Pure.
The worst thing is? I always find myself asking that question too! It's such a mundane yet easy opener for someone you know, to the point I almost find it easier talking to strangers. Little bit backwards but hey ho!
Regardless, what *have* I done for the past month?
Giving up smoking. Literally harder than ever.. I did it a few years ago when I was in a relationship with a non-smoker; not for her as she never asked; but it just didn't sit right with me. Giving up was easy then, almost too easy. Either that or life was far less stressful and consuming in comparison to how it is now.
I took the option not to make a big deal about my giving up as I did on New Years because in a realistic sense, I'm well aware there's a very significant failure rate as far as I'm concerned. Breaking any sort of habit is incredibly difficult and I allow myself too many bad influences (you know who you are) around me which makes it even more challenging. Don't get me wrong, I've smoked more than I've intended, predominately on nights out; but I've probably smoked say ~40 cigs in the past month, equivalent to just over two per day. Considering I'd easily do anywhere between 8-20 a day (depending what day it was), I see it as a huge achievement and I'm not ashamed to say I'm quite proud of myself for it.
Alongside this, I've been running far more frequently. If you've seen the pale legs sticking out from the generic black running outfit in Hall Place of an evening; I apologise for any offence my whiter-than-white pins may have caused. To the girl that whistled once.. Hi ;).
Enough of that. On a more negative note, I haven't been tracking my runs and therefore not keeping a record of my distance / times and how I've improved. This is a mistake, in honesty, and I intend to rectify it by the end of the month. I've also convinced my old dear to come running at least one night a week, so for any of you with a liking toward 60something married women of two.. Please remove yourselves from my Facebook. Thanks.
Drinking! This one I find a lot easier than smoking; I've had hardly anything that even constitutes 'a drink' in the past month and it's almost to the point I have no recollection of what hangovers feel like. Bet you're all jealous. Rich has sort of joined me on this one too; he already had one up with the no-smoking considering he never started but I think he felt he was slacking. That and he does plenty of MMA. Drunk fighters don't win much.
Paintball and poker being two things close to my heart (there are things closer, don't worry), I seem to have got them confused.
At the end of last season, I said I'd be giving up paintball for at least a year (think i explained this in an earlier blog).. Yet in the past month I've played the whole of one event and a few games of the one just gone after agreeing to coach for my team.
The first event went really well; it's the first time we chose to completely ignore the scoreboards given we have a few new players in the squad; just try to integrate them, have fun and enjoy the sport. Turns out, it came down to the last game for a podium finish. Pleased to say I pulled off one of my finer performances (I can only think of two specific games I'd played better in previous) to overturn a 3-on-1 situation and make sure we placed third. It was nice coming back to a 'one off' and coming back with a trophy.
The event weekend just gone wasn't quite as smooth however.. Stormed the first game, lost the next three and then went on to steady the ship. Couldn't turn it round though and missed out on third by something like 40 points; shame, but not the end of the world.
Poker on the other hand, I haven't been playing nearly as much as I was at the back end of last year and earlier this year. Since Nottingham I've been on what I can only describe as a downswing. I set aside Bank Holiday weekend for a £40 charity event which saw my departure in pretty shocking fashion. With 77 on 7c4c2d I got it in against TT.. The board ran out another two clubs for his flush at odds of 26-1.. Lovely! Think I lumped something like £30-40 at a worthwhile charity though (LittleBuds) so it was a pretty productive day. Nice to see a relatively large poker 'community' turn out too and bodes well for future events.
I've written this whole thing on my phone and haven't read back over it, so I'm expecting plenty of spelling errors (iPhones are handy like that) and wrong words in the wrong places.
So yeh; don't think I did much other than talk complete waffle? Said I would, so if you're still reading, thanks, and I hope you enjoyed it all the same.
I'll be sure to come up with something inspiring and generally awesome next time. Until then.. :)
Sunday, 22 April 2012
Checking in with reality..
So I'm writing this purely for my own benefit and I guess those that read it will be those that take time out themselves to check this blog rather than clicking on a FB / twitter link because they're bored..
After an incredibly productive day in taking third at the Southern Masters Paintball and settling for second at The George for a fiver short of first place; I took the time to reflect on the past few months. I made a passing comment to Rich along the lines of "I'm not quite sure where I've been going wrong recently.." then had one of those eureka moments where everything makes sense. Naturally, I figured this blog was the best place to get it off my chest.
I like to believe (and I'm sure I have critics on both sides) that I'm a pretty dab hand at giving advice across a wide variety of subjects; be it work, relationships, friendships, poker, paintball or those niggling life decisions that you need an external opinion on.. My problem with this..?
I've failed to take my own advice on more than one occasion. I've been in many situations recently in which i should've taken an objective view and discover the answers, but failed to do so and ultimately paid the price in one way or another.
Without being too specific; I've been far too content with being second best, a stop-gap or just a temporary fulfilment to people without really considering what's best for me in both the short and long term. I generally look to be the best I can be.. For someone else.
Selfless and egotistically satisfying? Maybe. But as it goes on; I've never really made it my priority to be honest with myself about what's best for me, and realistically, that's more important than anything else. I don't think it's wrong to "look out for number one" and infact, I think it's actually incredibly healthy.
When your expectations are high, you have to accept there will be several disappointments so you can really appreciate the penultimate taste of success. Besides; how can you determine what's truly the best thing for you if there aren't pitfalls on the way?
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
It's an ancient Chinese proverb that I'm sure the large majority of those reading this will have heard; yet I've only just come to truly understand it.
So my parting advice to anyone that reads this, and indeed myself?
Live life for yourself. Share it with those that don't take you for granted; but truly appreciate how fortunate they are to have you.
After an incredibly productive day in taking third at the Southern Masters Paintball and settling for second at The George for a fiver short of first place; I took the time to reflect on the past few months. I made a passing comment to Rich along the lines of "I'm not quite sure where I've been going wrong recently.." then had one of those eureka moments where everything makes sense. Naturally, I figured this blog was the best place to get it off my chest.
I like to believe (and I'm sure I have critics on both sides) that I'm a pretty dab hand at giving advice across a wide variety of subjects; be it work, relationships, friendships, poker, paintball or those niggling life decisions that you need an external opinion on.. My problem with this..?
I've failed to take my own advice on more than one occasion. I've been in many situations recently in which i should've taken an objective view and discover the answers, but failed to do so and ultimately paid the price in one way or another.
Without being too specific; I've been far too content with being second best, a stop-gap or just a temporary fulfilment to people without really considering what's best for me in both the short and long term. I generally look to be the best I can be.. For someone else.
Selfless and egotistically satisfying? Maybe. But as it goes on; I've never really made it my priority to be honest with myself about what's best for me, and realistically, that's more important than anything else. I don't think it's wrong to "look out for number one" and infact, I think it's actually incredibly healthy.
When your expectations are high, you have to accept there will be several disappointments so you can really appreciate the penultimate taste of success. Besides; how can you determine what's truly the best thing for you if there aren't pitfalls on the way?
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
It's an ancient Chinese proverb that I'm sure the large majority of those reading this will have heard; yet I've only just come to truly understand it.
So my parting advice to anyone that reads this, and indeed myself?
Live life for yourself. Share it with those that don't take you for granted; but truly appreciate how fortunate they are to have you.
Friday, 6 April 2012
Tuesday, 3 April 2012
The Post-Nottingham Report
I guess this is as close to a 'disclaimer' as you'll get. The first part of this blog will be very much focused on poker, so if you've got no interest in reading it, wait for the next installment. I was going to add it on the end, but time flies and a post-midnight blog with work in the morning isn't on the cards..
Nottingham - The Big Poker Weekender
So those of you reading this probably understand how the pub poker leagues work.. playing for points (and the money, obviously) each week to earn a place in the top two in order to qualify for a regional final. Placing in the top eight in that means you qualify for the National; the top 8 from that then get flown out to Vegas to play their final table out. It's a pretty sweet deal if you make it all the way at least.
Nathan managed to qualify for the National early on in the season, so obviously any excuse to have a tear-up in some random city is a good excuse. Ironically enough, the poker started on Friday night up town and was undoubtedly my best session to date.
Friday 23rd March - Where the fun begins.. Empire Casino & Fox Poker Club
I'm pretty lucky to have Nathan back me in cash games in town. Heading up with a paltry £20 in my wallet, we started the day at The Fox, playing a £30 bounty tournament. Against the odds, we somehow managed to all finish in the final 11 of 60 or so runners.. only to majestically fall short of the money in 11th (Rich), 10th (Rick) and 8th (Nathan). Pretty disappointing result but I took four bounties at a fiver each so it wasn't a tragic result; and pretty promising we all managed a deep run. Says a lot for how our game has come on since starting at the Ivory Lounge on a Tuesday night. We'll likely play more tourneys in future and hopefully be placing in the top 3.. there's a goal.
We moved onto The Empire, host to £1/£2 cash games. Within an hour I'd cashed out for £740, returned Nathan's £300 stake plus 30% on top as our agreement stands; pretty profitable for someone that walked out of the house with £20. Given that I was about £300 better off I agreed to pay for dinner at Henry's in Covent Garden (the pasta's lush, I'd recommend it) and head back to The Fox for the 7pm tourney with Rich.. as always, we'd missed level 1 and turned up nearer 8pm.. who likes being on time anyway? We both managed to bust pretty soon after sitting down so inevitably the cash tables were calling for my profits. Not long into my session I'd spun up £100 to somewhere in region of £300 and was told of a £1/£1 Round of Each being played (round of Hold'Em, round of Omaha). After taking my seat it was pretty obvious the whole table preferred Omaha which was music to my ears. The clock ticked on, and the most eventful part of the night was just before midnight; the dealer was finishing dead on 12 and predicted we'd have 4-5 hands to play before the table broke, so offered us 4, 5 or 6 cards under standard Omaha rules. Everyone opted for 6, and it wasn't long before we saw why..
In the third hand, I picked up 8899TJ with two suits (hearts & spades) and pot raised to £12.. two of the remaining three players came along, seeing £36 in the pot before the flop. Flop comes 6h7cQh - giving me the open ended straight draw (wrap at the top end) and a pretty weak flush draw. The short stack on the table leads out for £36, which I pot raise expecting to get it in and have the guy behind me fold. He does the opposite and pot raises all-in; the short stack puts himself in and I can never fold for the extra. I'm pretty happy with a solid draw and no made hand.. the short-stack shows QQ2xxx for top set, the guy on my left AA66xx with two hearts for bottom set, an overpair and the nut flush draw. I'm not in awful shape but I hate the fact my heart draw is dead. The turn is a meaningless 3 and I scoop a ~£700 pot effectively breaking the table, sending my profit to £1,020 for the night and still in time for the last train home with Rich; who can only say "You're sick".
Saturday 24th - Pack the bags and get moving..
We pre-arranged a 9.30am start for the trip to Nottingham. I think we were all well aware that was probably not the best idea, but there was a tourney starting at 2pm, not to mention finding where we were supposed to be in the first place. I picked up Rich just before 10am, stopped off for some essential supplies (water & cigarettes no less) before heading to Nathan's and then starting the three hour drive up "North". The drive was pretty smooth, with a stop off in "My snuggly bed" somewhere in Milton Keynes and only the one traffic hold-up on the way. We arrived in Nottingham in good time, just to find our hotel was dead opposite Trent Bridge Stadium, on match day. Would've probably been easier to jump on the coach with all the Brighton & Hove fans but hey-ho! The hotel wasn't bad, at £25 a night we weren't expecting a miracle regardless and I'm sure Rich didn't really mind the camp-type-bed he ended up in. That's the downside to being last in; you get the worst bed. Golden rule.
Onto Dusk Til Dawn and the £50 deep stack..
Generally the rule in poker is; you get what you pay for. The higher buy-in tourneys are always of a better structure to allow for more depth in play, not to mention big guarantee prize pools. Traditionally, we'd all agreed to miss level one, but Rich & Nathan registered and squeezed in for the last ten minutes. Like a hero, I managed to be put on the first reserve so I missed level one.. entered level two and subsequently bust by level three. Running KK into AA is a pretty sick spot in a tourney and I genuinely contemplated getting away from it, but I think I would've been annoyed for the rest of the tourney if I had've folded and been wrong.
They allowed one rebuy which both Nath & I ended up taking (spiraling our entry cost to £118 each.. ouch) and I went on to last the longest out of the three, eventually busting in about level 12. I'm not unhappy with the way I played, picked my spots well and ended up busting in pretty standard fashion. Unfortunate, but that's poker, and there's always next time.
Saturday Night.. Are you lost?
So Rich and I thought we'd have a job getting Nathan out of the poker-room to come party on Saturday night, but turns out he was as up for it as we were; so let the mess begin. As I generally enjoy talking to anyone and everyone on a night out, I urged the boys to ask randoms where the best place to go on a Saturday night in Nottingham is. It came back pretty conclusively as Gatecrasher, so hey, that's where we headed. I could probably try and explain what happened on the night, but if I'm honest, I don't remember parts of it. A girl I hadn't even spoken to did make a point of calling me a "dirty southern bastard" though; quite an impressive read if you ask me! I guess the following picture kinda sums up the weekend pretty well..
Nottingham - The Big Poker Weekender
So those of you reading this probably understand how the pub poker leagues work.. playing for points (and the money, obviously) each week to earn a place in the top two in order to qualify for a regional final. Placing in the top eight in that means you qualify for the National; the top 8 from that then get flown out to Vegas to play their final table out. It's a pretty sweet deal if you make it all the way at least.
Nathan managed to qualify for the National early on in the season, so obviously any excuse to have a tear-up in some random city is a good excuse. Ironically enough, the poker started on Friday night up town and was undoubtedly my best session to date.
Friday 23rd March - Where the fun begins.. Empire Casino & Fox Poker Club
I'm pretty lucky to have Nathan back me in cash games in town. Heading up with a paltry £20 in my wallet, we started the day at The Fox, playing a £30 bounty tournament. Against the odds, we somehow managed to all finish in the final 11 of 60 or so runners.. only to majestically fall short of the money in 11th (Rich), 10th (Rick) and 8th (Nathan). Pretty disappointing result but I took four bounties at a fiver each so it wasn't a tragic result; and pretty promising we all managed a deep run. Says a lot for how our game has come on since starting at the Ivory Lounge on a Tuesday night. We'll likely play more tourneys in future and hopefully be placing in the top 3.. there's a goal.
We moved onto The Empire, host to £1/£2 cash games. Within an hour I'd cashed out for £740, returned Nathan's £300 stake plus 30% on top as our agreement stands; pretty profitable for someone that walked out of the house with £20. Given that I was about £300 better off I agreed to pay for dinner at Henry's in Covent Garden (the pasta's lush, I'd recommend it) and head back to The Fox for the 7pm tourney with Rich.. as always, we'd missed level 1 and turned up nearer 8pm.. who likes being on time anyway? We both managed to bust pretty soon after sitting down so inevitably the cash tables were calling for my profits. Not long into my session I'd spun up £100 to somewhere in region of £300 and was told of a £1/£1 Round of Each being played (round of Hold'Em, round of Omaha). After taking my seat it was pretty obvious the whole table preferred Omaha which was music to my ears. The clock ticked on, and the most eventful part of the night was just before midnight; the dealer was finishing dead on 12 and predicted we'd have 4-5 hands to play before the table broke, so offered us 4, 5 or 6 cards under standard Omaha rules. Everyone opted for 6, and it wasn't long before we saw why..
In the third hand, I picked up 8899TJ with two suits (hearts & spades) and pot raised to £12.. two of the remaining three players came along, seeing £36 in the pot before the flop. Flop comes 6h7cQh - giving me the open ended straight draw (wrap at the top end) and a pretty weak flush draw. The short stack on the table leads out for £36, which I pot raise expecting to get it in and have the guy behind me fold. He does the opposite and pot raises all-in; the short stack puts himself in and I can never fold for the extra. I'm pretty happy with a solid draw and no made hand.. the short-stack shows QQ2xxx for top set, the guy on my left AA66xx with two hearts for bottom set, an overpair and the nut flush draw. I'm not in awful shape but I hate the fact my heart draw is dead. The turn is a meaningless 3 and I scoop a ~£700 pot effectively breaking the table, sending my profit to £1,020 for the night and still in time for the last train home with Rich; who can only say "You're sick".
Saturday 24th - Pack the bags and get moving..
We pre-arranged a 9.30am start for the trip to Nottingham. I think we were all well aware that was probably not the best idea, but there was a tourney starting at 2pm, not to mention finding where we were supposed to be in the first place. I picked up Rich just before 10am, stopped off for some essential supplies (water & cigarettes no less) before heading to Nathan's and then starting the three hour drive up "North". The drive was pretty smooth, with a stop off in "My snuggly bed" somewhere in Milton Keynes and only the one traffic hold-up on the way. We arrived in Nottingham in good time, just to find our hotel was dead opposite Trent Bridge Stadium, on match day. Would've probably been easier to jump on the coach with all the Brighton & Hove fans but hey-ho! The hotel wasn't bad, at £25 a night we weren't expecting a miracle regardless and I'm sure Rich didn't really mind the camp-type-bed he ended up in. That's the downside to being last in; you get the worst bed. Golden rule.
Onto Dusk Til Dawn and the £50 deep stack..
Generally the rule in poker is; you get what you pay for. The higher buy-in tourneys are always of a better structure to allow for more depth in play, not to mention big guarantee prize pools. Traditionally, we'd all agreed to miss level one, but Rich & Nathan registered and squeezed in for the last ten minutes. Like a hero, I managed to be put on the first reserve so I missed level one.. entered level two and subsequently bust by level three. Running KK into AA is a pretty sick spot in a tourney and I genuinely contemplated getting away from it, but I think I would've been annoyed for the rest of the tourney if I had've folded and been wrong.
They allowed one rebuy which both Nath & I ended up taking (spiraling our entry cost to £118 each.. ouch) and I went on to last the longest out of the three, eventually busting in about level 12. I'm not unhappy with the way I played, picked my spots well and ended up busting in pretty standard fashion. Unfortunate, but that's poker, and there's always next time.
Saturday Night.. Are you lost?
So Rich and I thought we'd have a job getting Nathan out of the poker-room to come party on Saturday night, but turns out he was as up for it as we were; so let the mess begin. As I generally enjoy talking to anyone and everyone on a night out, I urged the boys to ask randoms where the best place to go on a Saturday night in Nottingham is. It came back pretty conclusively as Gatecrasher, so hey, that's where we headed. I could probably try and explain what happened on the night, but if I'm honest, I don't remember parts of it. A girl I hadn't even spoken to did make a point of calling me a "dirty southern bastard" though; quite an impressive read if you ask me! I guess the following picture kinda sums up the weekend pretty well..
In some respects; I guess we were..
Sunday, Monday and beyond..
So the whole point of Nottingham in the first place was for Nathan to play this tournament that pub poker players up and down the country were to turn up for. The annoying thing was, it started at midday but we had to be there for 10am.. That means this designated driver had to haul his arse out of bed on four hours sleep to drive back to the poker room. On arrival we were told of the free fry-up on offer (amazing how that makes you feel so much better right?), not to mention Lauren Pope made an appearance for the sake of promoting RedTooth and letting people have a picture with her for £5 a time. Quite frankly, I wasn't looking my best on very little sleep and sweating alcohol so I decided to go without. Besides; breakfast was more important.
The tournament started at 12:30 and Nathan managed to last an impressive.. 7 minutes? There or thereabouts. Our only saving grace was that as tables began to free up from the tournament, the cash tables started running. Little did we know, but this would be the beginning of our 13 hour stint at the tables, save the 20 minute break for Nando's courtesy of Rich's £25 profit at the time. I think by the end of Sunday we all pretty much broke even, but hey, it kept us entertained until 4am.. The club closed, so we took the decision to find a 24 hour McDonald's with great success. Even got to see a fight kick off whilst enjoying our breakfast; definitely haven't experienced that in Bexleyheath.
Having not paid any attention whatsoever to the check-out times and suchlike; we were pretty lucky to leave around 10am; and despite little sleep, too much poker and a modesty profit by the end of the weekend; I still found time to squeeze in a JD & coke at the Wrong Un. All in all? One of my most memorable weekends in recent times; most definitely this year. We're all planning on finding more suitable tournaments around the country; not to mention building bankrolls to support playing them at the same time. Besides; the UKIPT has £1million guaranteed prizepools with around £200k to first; who wouldn't want the same shot?
You'll have to wait til next time for some insight into the deeper, more personal revelations. Look forward to it; won't be long :)
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Its OK to lose, as long as you learn something..
So what best to do than finish a quiet Saturday night in with a blog update, and a positive one at that.
Every time I go to write a blog I tend to flick over my last one to delve back into whatever concept I'm trying to demonstrate in the previous and see if I've lived by it myself. The one person you're only ever really accountable to afterall, is yourself. You have to stand by your decisions and live with the results. I'm not quite sure what direction this post will be going in but apparently I have a way with words, so hopefully you'll follow it to the end and find out at the same time I do.
Where to start..? Poker? Let's get it over with!
I know this bit is the boring part, so hey-ho, you'll all be pleased to hear I went from $150 to approximately $1,200 and I'm now sat around.. $155.48. The worst part about it is (and non-poker players probably won't understand this), but I've been playing somewhere between OK and very well; but just been on an inevitable downswing. Having been consistently winning for the past few weeks; there was a point in which I'd have to start losing to satisfy variance (think of it like karma if that helps). I guess that's over and done with now so I'll look forward to winning in Nottingham.. which rolls me on nicely to the next section.
24th & 25th March.. Making a mess in Nottingham
Nathan qualified for the pub poker league National Final in what feels like an eternity ago. I missed out on my own seat by something like 14 places, which was pretty disappointing considering I was cruising through a field of 175 players at the time, but that's the nature of the game so I guess I'll have to get over it. With the way the league works, the top 10 players from the nationals have their tournament 'frozen' effectively; following this, they're flown out to Las Vegas for 5 days.. one of which is spent playing out their final table, the other 4? Well, enjoying Vegas. So here's to hoping Nathan plays out of his skin and wins a seat in Vegas on the 25th, because I've already booked myself in as his +1 and quite frankly, a free trip to Vegas is probably on the top of my Christmas list this year.
Having managed to convince Rich that Nottingham is probably the best poker-related idea since we discovered we both play regularly, he's coming for the journey too on the promise that I'll be drinking throughout Saturday night...
So this has been sat here since Saturday night...
And being Thursday, two days before Nottingham, I've just got back to writing it. Nathan landed at Heathrow at approximately 7:30pm.. he was in the car by 7:58 and in Pure just before 10. Pretty good effort on all accounts. His revenge though? Making me shake on a Vegas trip this year. There's a picture on Facebook that's upside down (Rich isn't very good at using technology when he's drunk) of the agreement so I guess that's locked in. As if I didn't have enough to worry about.. I now have a two week engagement in Vegas to be considered a 'working' holiday. Brilliant. Cheers Nath.
I've kinda forgotten my point, so here's a whole new one!
I have a lot to learn with this blogging business. Such as finishing what you start (hands up, I've never been good at this) and being decisive in your subjects. I think one of my specialties is avoiding the latter purely to allow myself to ramble on, become distracted and talk about something entirely unrelated - much like I'm doing now. So, I'll put a close on this one. After dropping a few people home tonight I wound up in one of those really awkward "are we really having this conversation" moments, you know, the kind of conversation that's acceptable after you've had a drink but is probably best left alone when you're sober? Yup. One of those. I'm glad it happened though; really opened my eyes to an issue I've never really considered before, and something I'd like to share with you incase you ever find yourself in the same / similar situation. If just one person can take something away from this? I'm pleased I wrote it.
It's OK to lose, as long as you learn something...
This is pretty personal to me right now; to the point that I'm still weighing up the pros and cons in my head of writing it / posting it. If anything? Leaves me leaving pretty vulnerable, but sometimes that's for the best. I could probably rattle on for hours about social dynamics, relationships, morality and ethics surrounding the two and so on and so forth. Without having actually taken a psychology degree I think it's one of the most fascinating unknowns that I should've probably pursued earlier in life. Every single person is like a puzzle, and without stroking my own ego, I'm usually pretty good at putting the pieces together; or at least, most of them. Everyone has little surprises they like to throw at you now and then; not to mention I'm more than capable of misreading scenarios / situations - but making mistakes is what keeps me thinking; and I appreciate that.
There's one topic in particular that's really been weighing on my mind recently so this is part of the process in overcoming it I guess. The topic in question..?
Every time I go to write a blog I tend to flick over my last one to delve back into whatever concept I'm trying to demonstrate in the previous and see if I've lived by it myself. The one person you're only ever really accountable to afterall, is yourself. You have to stand by your decisions and live with the results. I'm not quite sure what direction this post will be going in but apparently I have a way with words, so hopefully you'll follow it to the end and find out at the same time I do.
Where to start..? Poker? Let's get it over with!
I know this bit is the boring part, so hey-ho, you'll all be pleased to hear I went from $150 to approximately $1,200 and I'm now sat around.. $155.48. The worst part about it is (and non-poker players probably won't understand this), but I've been playing somewhere between OK and very well; but just been on an inevitable downswing. Having been consistently winning for the past few weeks; there was a point in which I'd have to start losing to satisfy variance (think of it like karma if that helps). I guess that's over and done with now so I'll look forward to winning in Nottingham.. which rolls me on nicely to the next section.
24th & 25th March.. Making a mess in Nottingham
Nathan qualified for the pub poker league National Final in what feels like an eternity ago. I missed out on my own seat by something like 14 places, which was pretty disappointing considering I was cruising through a field of 175 players at the time, but that's the nature of the game so I guess I'll have to get over it. With the way the league works, the top 10 players from the nationals have their tournament 'frozen' effectively; following this, they're flown out to Las Vegas for 5 days.. one of which is spent playing out their final table, the other 4? Well, enjoying Vegas. So here's to hoping Nathan plays out of his skin and wins a seat in Vegas on the 25th, because I've already booked myself in as his +1 and quite frankly, a free trip to Vegas is probably on the top of my Christmas list this year.
Having managed to convince Rich that Nottingham is probably the best poker-related idea since we discovered we both play regularly, he's coming for the journey too on the promise that I'll be drinking throughout Saturday night...
So this has been sat here since Saturday night...
And being Thursday, two days before Nottingham, I've just got back to writing it. Nathan landed at Heathrow at approximately 7:30pm.. he was in the car by 7:58 and in Pure just before 10. Pretty good effort on all accounts. His revenge though? Making me shake on a Vegas trip this year. There's a picture on Facebook that's upside down (Rich isn't very good at using technology when he's drunk) of the agreement so I guess that's locked in. As if I didn't have enough to worry about.. I now have a two week engagement in Vegas to be considered a 'working' holiday. Brilliant. Cheers Nath.
I've kinda forgotten my point, so here's a whole new one!
I have a lot to learn with this blogging business. Such as finishing what you start (hands up, I've never been good at this) and being decisive in your subjects. I think one of my specialties is avoiding the latter purely to allow myself to ramble on, become distracted and talk about something entirely unrelated - much like I'm doing now. So, I'll put a close on this one. After dropping a few people home tonight I wound up in one of those really awkward "are we really having this conversation" moments, you know, the kind of conversation that's acceptable after you've had a drink but is probably best left alone when you're sober? Yup. One of those. I'm glad it happened though; really opened my eyes to an issue I've never really considered before, and something I'd like to share with you incase you ever find yourself in the same / similar situation. If just one person can take something away from this? I'm pleased I wrote it.
It's OK to lose, as long as you learn something...
This is pretty personal to me right now; to the point that I'm still weighing up the pros and cons in my head of writing it / posting it. If anything? Leaves me leaving pretty vulnerable, but sometimes that's for the best. I could probably rattle on for hours about social dynamics, relationships, morality and ethics surrounding the two and so on and so forth. Without having actually taken a psychology degree I think it's one of the most fascinating unknowns that I should've probably pursued earlier in life. Every single person is like a puzzle, and without stroking my own ego, I'm usually pretty good at putting the pieces together; or at least, most of them. Everyone has little surprises they like to throw at you now and then; not to mention I'm more than capable of misreading scenarios / situations - but making mistakes is what keeps me thinking; and I appreciate that.
There's one topic in particular that's really been weighing on my mind recently so this is part of the process in overcoming it I guess. The topic in question..?
If you ever really want something; you have to be prepared to lose it completely...
I can't begin to stress enough how much the above is relevant in so many scenarios around not only myself, but also those in my closest social circles and beyond. It's pretty fascinating how we see people around us as a certain 'something'; whether it be purely platonic, a drinking buddy, an ex, a friend with benefits, someone you 'like', the nice guy, the player, the regret (we've all had those, right?), the sibling you never had.. Everyone around you is different in some way or another, and part of social circles is appreciating that diversity; how everyone as an individual makes up such an extensive, complex network of personalities that fulfill your lifestyle. Sometimes the descriptions can cross over, for example, a certain someone might be the friend with benefits that you've got feelings for (get out of that scenario asap!)
For now I'll address only one of the above, and probably the hardest one to come to terms with. "Someone you like". Pretty bitter pill to swallow sometimes, right?
There's so many complications when it comes to someone you have an emotional investment in that you're not actually with. What your / their current situation is, how they perceive you and how they think you perceive them, what you know of their history and what they know of yours. Fact of the matter is? You're involved in their lives for one reason or another, whether they're conscious of it or not. It's often said you don't know what you're missing until it's gone - and I hope whichever philosopher / songwriter / mentalist came up with that phrase realised just how correct they were at the time.
It's human nature to take things for granted, and unfortunately it's human nature to toss things aside when you're done with them. We all did it as kids and we all do it now. As soon as there's a new mobile phone on the market, we toss the old one. When you were playing computer games, the new one made the original obsolete and its still collecting dust on the shelf. When each person in your life has satisfied their purpose, they become disposable. The guilt only lasts for a little while because unfortunately, that very same human nature teaches us how to deal with rejection and how to grasp the concept of moving on; the longer it takes, the more it hurts, so my advice on that front is? Don't be judgmental, disappointed or begrudging; it's human nature after all.
Definitely good at that rambling business.. anyway, back to the point..
Despite everything said about human nature, we also control our own minds, thought processes (to a degree), what we say and how we say it. The one thing we don't really control? Is how we feel. Emotions are a funny old business that the most intelligent of people will never really truly work out, in my opinion. The funny thing is, a lot of people fall into relationships because they fear loneliness and have a craving for affection and emotional satisfaction. They need to be validated, accepted and appreciated by someone else in order to feel at ease with themselves. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but part of me makes me wonder how their relationships will turn out.. how happy they will be in the long run and if they're lying to themselves in order to convince everyone else that they're happy; or if they've never really run the risk of being alone to force themselves to be the best they can be, and have someone be the best they can be, for them.
The downside to independence and refusing to settle for second best? Opportunities are few and far between. Undoubtedly there will be relationships that try, and fail, but for the right reasons; rather than a necessity to 'have someone'. In discovering someone else, you might not realise it, but you consistently discover yourself. As unpredictable as others can be, no one will ever surprise you as much as you looking back on your own actions to see how you've changed, developed and grown as a person. It's a pretty refreshing reflection.
I'm sure I've rambled on and completely missed my point, but I guess if you're still reading, you found something to relate to. Maybe there will be a day I get round to explaining what I'm trying to explain with a clearer mind than I have done here. But not yet.
Take your time and consider your decisions; sometimes its best to leave your head in the clouds and let your heart take the plunge. Disappointment hurts, but nothing hurts more than never knowing..
Sunday, 26 February 2012
When puzzles are complete; sometimes the pictures aren't so pretty
I was sincerely looking forward to writing this next blog installment. I'd built myself to the point in which I had nothing negative to say and I could express how ambition, motivation and drive were so key to everyone's life and major tools on a platform to success. I really wanted to write about that; and in the past 24 hours, I've learnt lessons that won't even allow me to do so.
I'm incredibly disappointed in myself because naive and blind aren't two words I'd ever use to describe myself; until today.
... I wrote that on Thursday, and I think it's necessary that it stays. I had a lot on my mind and part of releasing it is to leave it there. But it's incredible how strength of character is portrayed in how you deal with situations; rather than the situations you're in. So, welcome to my revised, more positive post.
... I wrote that on Thursday, and I think it's necessary that it stays. I had a lot on my mind and part of releasing it is to leave it there. But it's incredible how strength of character is portrayed in how you deal with situations; rather than the situations you're in. So, welcome to my revised, more positive post.
Lessons are to be learnt, not opportunities squandered
February, as a whole, has been pretty good to me. It's funny how poker has taught me so much in life, and no lesson more important than 'variance'. To explain it to a non-poker player; I guess it's similar to economics. When it's represented on a graph there's peaks and troughs, but generally, a 'winner' will have an upward gradient in the long run. I think it goes far and above my personal opinion to tell you if you're a winner or not, and you'll have to ask me in 50 years or so for a more accurate answer, but at least I can reflect on my 23 year journey so far.
I'll start with poker, because I know most people will roll their eyes and not take the time to read it; so I'll keep it brief.
I started two weeks ago with a $150 deposit on Stars and had essentially, the second best poker month I've ever had. Playing 25PLO I spun up a profit of approximately $1,050 in a week and a bit. Unfortunately, as is the nature of poker, I was blind to the fact I was experiencing a 'heater' - when a player is considered to be 'running good' and therefore making a greater profit per hour played. Quite frankly, not even the best professionals in the world could keep that up on a consistent level. Ironically, the past week has seen me swing back down to roughly $450; leaving me with a meager $300 profit. As a recreational player that's been dealing with a lot of mental leaks however; I'm not that disheartened by it. I've also purchased PokerTracker from my profits so my game should theoretically improve in the long term - not an awful month by any stretch. No more poker talk for now; promise.
Ironically..? Just in case anyone picked up on it
In the same manner as my poker, February has been a pretty swingy month on a personal / social level. Where some had fallen by the wayside for a multitude of reasons (well, one primary reason but I don't need to go into it), I opened new doors and rediscovered some others. It's interesting how we change the people involved in our lives over a period of time and become very circumstantially dependent. Fortunately I'm not one to hold a grudge and often take a step back to appreciate the bigger picture, rather than the smudge on the canvas that's been pointed out to me. In reality; does one small, insignificant mistake ruin a masterpiece? I'd like to think not.
I received a text last Wednesday (the 22nd if that's about to bear relevance to anything) which I'll paraphrase ~ "Although you're so aware of so many things, I don't know if you're really, truly, honestly aware of the impact you can have on people. Everything you say may be a lie, but I have no reason to think it is. Your honesty and humour are endearing."
It's not often the simple things that someone might say make me smile, but that in itself evoked a response I'm not usually in touch with. Borderline dangerous for stroking my ego? Perhaps. I guess I'd never really given much thought to the idea that my opinions, advice and experiences would really relate to those around me on such a level. Like most things, this encouraged my overly active mind to think about situations I've been in, how I've dealt with them, discussed them and moved on from them; but then onto the point of how other people deal with their own situations in everyday life.
Personally I'm a believer in "age is just a number", and I don't think it directly correlates to how mature you are as a person. If anything, age has just given you a timeline in which to record your experiences, and the older you are, the more potential you've had to experience. I meet thirty-somethings that still go clubbing on a regular basis as if they were fresh out of college and twenty-somethings that have their own children, long term partners and commitments to mortgages and seemingly lasting careers. To blanket that with something as simple as 'age' would be naive. A lot of that is likely what stirs my inquisition.. I never really enjoyed those 1,000 piece puzzles your parents would give you as a kid to keep you entertained for hours because you haven't worked out to either find all of the corner pieces first or start from a focal point in the picture on the lid.
When it comes to puzzles relevant to me though? It's people. We're all incredibly complex in our own ways and although many people share tendencies and similarities, no two people will ever be exactly the same. I don't think I ever went out with the intention of analysing people to the extent I do, but it is something that I find really challenging and ultimately; satisfying. I'm not sure if it's inspired by watching Season 2 of Dexter fairly recently but I'm half-tempted to look into a career in criminal profiling. I haven't got the faintest idea of how to get into it but hey, sounds good right? I'm starting to waffle and let myself be distracted, so I'll wrap this up. I guess my mind is a little cluttered so it's coming across far more bitty than I imagined in my own head..
Fate.. Destiny.. Fortune and Karma..
Really? All of the above are one and the same. What's curious is that there are many interlaced patterns connecting the same words in a number of different respects and a multitude of beliefs surrounding each of them.
Typically, people that 'believe' in karma advocate 'what goes around, comes around' and in some manner; luck is on your side when you're sitting atop a moral high ground, yet leaves you to your own devices when you've been a little out of touch with the angels of society. In a similar (yet not identical, I appreciate) manner, these believers are often of the impression that fate, destiny and everything between is somehow already carved out for each of us as individuals. We have to take each day as it comes and it will end as it was forever intended.
Ironically, (I love that word), I used to believe in very much the same. I think I've been pretty 'lucky' in the terms of things falling into my lap, be it work opportunities, academic achievements, good health (debatable!), friendships, relationships - the list probably goes on a little longer. Now however? I'm contrary to that line of thinking. Riding on the back of success is no where near as fulfilling as grafting to the point of really achieving success.
I think if I missed anything as a kid, it would be having a vigorous work ethic drilled into me. I'm pretty laid back by nature and sometimes I do need a real boot up my proverbial backside to motivate myself. In my line of work it's quite interesting that how I am as a manager reflects in my team's performance too. There's a consistent pattern of; under-performance -> I get booted -> I boot everyone else -> we all perform. We're too relaxed in getting "just enough done" when in reality we could do more and really push ourselves to exceed expectations. Something (or someone) really has to capture my imagination, creativity and drive to get the best out of me in that respect.
In light of that, and the line I hate to hear whenever someone comes to me for advice; "It's easier said than done, Rick", is hopefully going to be the driving force behind March and beyond. One thing I don't like ever being accused of, is hypocrisy, so if you ever hear me say the aforementioned, then please - point it out to me. It'll get under my skin and you'll be opening yourself to a nasty sideways glance but genuinely; I'd appreciate it.
So I implore anyone that reads this; to take destiny into your own hands. At the end of the day, the result isn't always necessarily the most important thing. If you want to walk away from something with your head held high; at least look back on it and consider if you had given yourself the best shot at getting what you want from life. Be proud of what you've achieved; and if you haven't quite got there - be proud of giving it your best.
In closing, I have a little line of advice. Someone told me the first part not so long ago, and I've tried to instill it every day since; it really does make a difference..
Wake up with a smile; it's better than breakfast.
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